What’s John Key going to do next?

Following John Key’s shock resignation just a few days ago, many commentators have been analysing his achievements and contribution over the last 8 years as New Zealand’s Prime Minister.

Others are more focused on what he’s going to do next. Given his previous experience as a currency trader, most people seem to think he’s aiming for a high paying job or directorships in the business world. But is this where his job offers are really coming from?

800px-ponytail_facing_rightImage: Evil Erin

Our sources within the National party suggest up to 86% of the job offers to date have been from suburban hairdressers around the country. Why? We asked Mish-elle of Krazy Kuts Hairport in the Auckland suburb of Glendene to explain:

It may seem strange, but it makes sense to me. We’d love to have John Key working for us. We need a shampoo assistant who can gently caress our customers beautiful tresses, and with his experience I think he’d be absolutely perfect.

But I’ve probably said too much already…

Sadly, our interview with Mish-Elle was cut short when her phone rang and she anxiously shooed us from the room to answer it. Watch this space…

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