In response to the recent scandal involving mis-labelling of factory eggs as free-range eggs, a major supermarket chain today announced a new classification system for egg packaging. A spokesperson said:
‘We know our customers care about the conditions under which eggs are produced, and are willing to pay more for free-range eggs. We want to help consumers make informed choices about their purchases. Recent events have caused uncertainty about egg labelling and we want to remove that doubt. The new classification system includes extra categories to help customers make their purchasing decisions.’
The new labelling categories:
- Barn-raised. The chickens are housed in a building which may or may not resemble the rustic, red-painted weatherboard shed of your imagination.
- Free-range. The chickens are allowed to roam outdoors at will.
- “Free-range”. A new category. Leaves undefined the conditions under which the eggs are raised but implies that the eggs may have been produced under free-range conditions.
The spokesperson went on to say:
‘The use of ironic speech-marks for the new category provides flexibility for egg producers and retailers, while at the same time providing a level of reassurance for consumers that they are making an ethical choice. We have seen on the global stage that voters have readily accepted alternative facts, so we believe consumers will likewise accept labelling categories based primarily on a feel-good factor.’
At the time of writing the “Ministry for Consumer Protection” could not be reached for comment.
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